You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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