Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
