his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Text me some of your sweat
Randomize
