well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
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