I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
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