I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Randomize
