why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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