I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Randomize
