id be glad to
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
