peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
