How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize