i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
Randomize
