it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
well you can't waste a boner
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
