No stitches, just platelets and will power
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
