I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
