You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
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