So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
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