Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
