JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
When are your genitals available?
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
