Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize