Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
She needs sedatives and a leash
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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