so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
