bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Randomize
