I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
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