; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
