Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
