no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Boobs speak an international language.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Randomize
