It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
