If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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