She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
