Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Randomize
