help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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