I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
