Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
