He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
His hands were made for my vagina.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
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