Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
