Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Randomize
