And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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