Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
