I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Randomize
