DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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