I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
