on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
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