you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Randomize
