so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
