Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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