it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
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