Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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