I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
A bitchslap is in order.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize