The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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