she was so not down for the gang bang
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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