So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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