Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
