just survived the first fart of the relationship.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Randomize
