I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I have tasted many bathrooms
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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