your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
