is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
