bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Randomize
