I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
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