what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
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