i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Randomize
