Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
