We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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